Dear Young Empath
Dear Young Empath,
Telling people you are an empath isn't working. Keep it close to your chest. You don't need anyone's approval, admiration, or pity.
Your sensitive nature is both a gift and a condition to be managed. Resist the urge to boast. It's not worth the embarrassment you will later feel when you look back and realize that while you thought you were being of service, others only saw you as self-absorbed. Showing off your sensitivity also attracts predators who manipulate your naked desire to be seen as special and take advantage of your generosity.
Quietly practice your empathy when it serves the common good. Those who are meant to recognize you will do so, not by your words, but by your actions. Those who do not recognize you do not need to. Let them be. Your desire to be seen isn't about them.
Immerse yourself in things that delight your senses and imagination. Use the power of your exquisite receptivity to achieve states of bliss and wonder.
Gain mastery in regulating your own nervous system. Find your modalities of choice. Make resilience a priority.
View the world honestly. Be circumspect, but not hypervigilant. Learn to discern between situations it is truly healthy to avoid, and those you need to muster the energy and strength to handle. But keep the label "toxic" to your own private thoughts. Others hear it as condescending.
Find your boundaries from the inside out - not from the outside in, where you focus on the world and try to teach it how to treat you; that places your control in the wrong location. Rather, get comfortable in your own energy. Set the tone for yourself and radiate it outward until you can feel what is right for you, then take action to maintain that wellbeing. When you don't like how someone else is behaving, remember that their behavior is their choice; your choice is to move away from what you dislike. There is little need for verbal exchange here. If someone wishes to meet you on your terms, let them demonstrate that. It's not an argument.
Make wise decisions. Whenever possible, choose careers, hobbies, homes, and partners that suit your constitution and utilize your gifts. When options are limited, resist the temptation to adopt a victim mentality. Your sensitivity does not make you incapable, nor does it excuse you from personal responsibility, nor is it a weapon to be cast in blame. Look within for ways to resource yourself to handle stress more resiliently. Let bad experiences teach you lessons to help shape your future successes.
